2011 - Road to the Etapes

The training is done .. the final sportive was finished respectably ... 6hours for 102miles .....

On the last lap so a change in the main page .... the normal blog for this month are below and under the Blogg tab above.
- January - Training in Provence & skiing in Val Thorens (incl injury pics)
- February - KL & Singapore .. and Solihul
- March - Oslo, riding with Dee, articles about Hinault & How to find your focus, and a nice weekend in Bangkok
- April - My 1st sportive, Easter in Far East
- May - More sportives, the training weekend in Provence (& Ventoux, Tourmalet & Alpe d'Huez), Amy's wedding in St Tropez
- June - The final training in the Far East & my 1st 100 mile sportive

BUT FINALLY THE TWO ACTS ,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Click on the one you want

Act 1 - Telegraph / Galibier / Alpe d'Huez

Act 2 - Massif Central - Abandonee.... "All that pain for nothing"

ONE DOWN .. ONE TO GO

About 2 hours and a world of pain apart!!

These pictures pretty well sum up the highs and lows of the stage in the mountains.

The exhilaration of 45 kms downhill at between 50 & 70kph � and the slog up 3 horrible, horrible horrible mountains �

Riyadh summed it up with
�Galibier was formed from the end of a devil horn, and the event was conceived by tormented son of a hundred maniacs. That was not a race, that was a small picture of what hell will be like�

But first the good news �. WE DID IT �. And underneath our target times.
We did a recce of the course the previous day in the car � and were horrified by the length and steepness of the climbs
(see May�s blog on 2011etape.co.uk)
So my target was 7 hours for the 110 km 3,500m climbing. Riyadh (being Riyadh) set himself 6hrs � but neither of us were confident of achieving those times.
My adjusted time was 5hrs 40 and Riyadh�s - 5hr 10!!!

At the end we both had Steve Redgrave moments � remember when he said �if you see me anywhere near a rowing boat again you can shoot me �� . Well, you get the picture �.
�Never again� � we both said the same words to each other when we saw each other at the finish line!

How do the pro�s do this day in day out? And the only answer we can come up with is a word starting with �D�. And even with a full dose of EPO, Clembuterol and brandy � they must still be supermen.

Here�s some bits �. It�ll will give you a chance to avoid reading the full story of the weekend �. when I get round to putting the pics and video and words together on the blog.

But the highlights �.

" 1st among the 1st above anything else �. Wendy was patience personified - she was a loving star x x xx
Again, Riyadh summed it up with
"And you are truly not complete without Wendy, you make a great team. The whole Tour de France doesn't have support and help like that. What a great Lady." "
Today, 24 hours on, Monsieur Riyadh takes 2nd place with his lovely email he sent expressing his feelings for the weekend � Mate, let's just enjoy the 2nd one on Sunday and not compete
(That is like asking bears not to do what bears do in the wood!! Not a happening thing .. but I can try)
There has been a little group chatting on Twitter about this race � although she is female, Scottish and lives south of the river, Lesley seems to be a lovely lady and throws her self into charity work .. there were 10k riders there on Monday .. we happened to be in the same queue for a toilet � so that was a nice moment � (meeting Lesley - definitely not that loo!!!)
The first mountain .. Telegraph was great for me, I skipped up it � spoke to a guy from SW London (Kingston Club) who turned out to be a Newcastle supporter � well, me in my Sunderland top made for a bit of banter � then as I decided to power past him, he saw the initials printed on the back of my top � "FTM" � he wasn't too chuffed at seeing that - for those that don't know .. they stand for a Anglo-Saxon term that should be done to the Magpies �
Telegraph again � our hero Riyadh had to have oxygen administered to him (only 45 mins into the race!) as he was suffering from altitude sickness (or was that "attitude") �. And he still went on to mash the course � Chapeau, mon brave!
Galibier rises and rises and rises .. 33km of mountain in the wilderness with snow still around .. and still it rises and then gets steeper �. I was in some pain for the mid section - it wasn't the steepest � that was kept for the last km .. but I had a bad patch in the middle � but I knew I had only another 70km to go!!?!?!?!??!?
The descent from Galibier was awesome .. it was reasonably warm so no need for windproofs �. And winding mountain roads .. over 15% steep � at over 60kph � what a buzz!! (And remember how all this started with crashing on an old Tesco bike on Ventoux!) � the descent went on and on and on � 45km!! The tunnels that had no lights were scary - you couldn't brake in case someone crashed into you from behind - and you hoped that people in front didn't brake � but you didn't know! (Unfortunately there was a very serious accident just after I went through when someone hit the curb after a tunnel and went over the barrier into a ravine � there have been conflicting stories - at best he was airlifted away .. at worst �.)
My chain dropped 6 times on the descent � 6 times had to stop and put it back on � until the nice people of Mavic fixed the problem just before I started the climb up Alpe d'Huez �
The crowds at the bottom of Ad'H were great,� bells, singing, flags and loads of cheering � it was a great lift .. I got a little tired and emotional there .. but I felt pretty good and remembered not to get carried away - AdH is the worst of the climbs .. I think worse that Ventoux or Tourmalet ��
And that's the end of the good times � I thought I suffered on part of Galibier � nope .. on Alpe d'Huez there are 21 hairpin bends .. and each bend has a number to count down to the top � some people get inspired by that .. for me it is awful .. still 18 to go .. still 13 to go .. still not half way up � shit, I was sure that it said 8, 3 bends ago .. it's 8 still to go again. Then after the last one .. there is still 2km to go!!!! Half way up I took off the helmet (no organiser was going to dare tell me to put it back on) � 6km to go I gave my gels and protein bars away (less weight to drag up) � some kind French family gave me a can of coke with 3 km to go (and I asked them to tell me there was only 1 km to go � they eventually relented and told me there was only 1 km to go .. life's good with your head in the sand)

I did manage a pretty good, out-of-the-saddle sprint at the end � but I was really emotional - but too exhausted to even cry .. I needed to but couldn't �. Never again, NEVER AGAIN � if you spot me with a bike near a mountain or a sportive race again .. you have permission to shoot me �. But it is more than 24 hours since the end of the race .. I have shovelled 20 kg of food & energy drinks into me � I have had a massage and I have had a 20km light ride (apart from overtaking the lorry on a hill cause he was going too slow) �. So Sunday is looking likely again �

The race on Sunday is twice as long with the same amount of climbing!! And delayed muscle fatigue is kicking in .. but my biggest worry is my back. For the first time in 7 months it was aching yesterday �. That might actually stop me .. a visit to another physio tomorrow will hopefully help �.Let's see

Shit � if that is the edited highlights .. then god help you when I get round to doing the full story!

Thanks Wendy xxxx I love you
Thanks Riyadh � I never thought I would find anyone as obsessional and stubborn as me .. but I am an amateur compared to you � I'll be your wingman anytime!! Thanks to all of you for all your support and encouragement .. even though you must be bored rigid - it was great getting your messages (apart from those that got the police onto me about cyber-stalking)
Thank you for reading this far ,,,, if you didn't then you won't get thanked ;-)

And so to Act 2 in the Massif Central � currently I'm writing this on Tuesday night � oh I am so looking forward to Sunday � NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!

But I am really looking forward to Sunday night �. Beer, beer, chips , beer, donuts , beer, wine �. And anything else to put back on a stone in weight � until the next episode ��..
.. GET THAT BLOODY GUN �. NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

Act 2 - Massif Central - Abandonee .. or ..."All that pain for nothing"

As I got carried away with our trials and tribulations .. I have come back to the top of the email and with the editor-in-chief over my shoulder � written the summary

The race was cancelled! Torrential rain, gales, snow and ice on the top parts of the course.
Hundreds of people with hyperthermia
Those who had got past the abandonment point before the police blocked the road had a chance to finish .. chapeau to those who did!
We didn't get that far in time .. and even if we had - not sure we could have been one of the heroes.

Simon summed it up best .. though he was talking about the weekend, it actually applied to the previous 7 months �
"ALL THAT PAIN FOR NOTHING!!!!"

Now if you want to go on � and you have been warned � it is "self indulgent!" (haven't we earned the right for another evening?!?!?) � So puff up a cushion, pour yourself out a nice coffee, beer, wine .. or close the email down now �.. ============================================================================================

After last week's blood, sweat, exhaustion & tears �. There were only tears and some blood � and lots of exhaustion � but certainly no sweat!

For the first time since 2000 the Etape race was stopped!

In 2000 the last 6km to the top of Ventoux was closed due to sleet and ice �. This time, the race was stopped after only 110km! � about 2,000 got through the abandonment point until the police took the decision that the whole thing had become too dangerous �. Sheet ice and snow at the top of the 3rd climb as well as hundreds suffering hyperthermia triggered the decision.

The worst hit by the cold were the truly fit people who didn't have a layer of blubber to save them � the ones who had laid their athletic prowess on the line from the start �.. How did we get to this nightmare ��?

Registration day on Saturday was a perfect cycling day, 25c, still, intermittent sun - great but we saw that the forecast �. We asked the organisers (this was a group tour deal) what the forecast was for Sunday � "well it looks to be clearing after 8am, so not too bad" � yeah right!

Chicken, rice and a relatively early night � disturbed by (literally) a howling wind outside at 2am � OMG � and huge rain at 4am .. but the wind didn't seem too bad by then and it was actually quite warm. Porridge (yep .. I took it again), bread and coffee and onto the minibuses �. Into another storm on the motorway �. All quiet in the bus �. Well .. ALL quiet except Riyadh of course!

We had left Claremont-Ferrand at 5:30am which was ridiculously late given it was over half an hour to Issoire on a good day - never mind with thousands of others trying to get tot the same point off the same motorway exit �. So predictably we were running late .. not that I was getting stroppy about it of course �.. I told (sorry suggested) the driver (in a polite, and humble way) to pull over and let us off on the M-way slip road �. Which he ignored .. well he was from Teeside � Smoggy git! � but we did have a walk into town to get our bikes from Park-Fermee � in the rain (with bin liners on .. more later). There was only a couple of dozen bikes left there - so you can guess the time

The start was due at 7am - we were still putting on shoes and pumping tyres then � and the rain had relented � to a drenching.

We didn't know the way to start .. "follow the crowds" they shouted �. "THE F'ING CROWDS WERE ALREADY AT THE STARTLINE!"

But we did get there on time and off we went .. and to be fare the rain had just about stopped, there were signs of less black clouds, as Ali, Simon and myself agreed to stick together to see each other through. No chance that Riyadh would even consider that .. "We are in a race so it's a race!" But with 209km, 3,500m climbing to go then we weren't worried.

After 3km a peloton had formed about 100m ahead .. "let's get on the back of that" - Ali � so he was off not to be seen again until the bar in the hotel!

So it was down to Simon and myself .. the old man and the not quite as old man. � and the rain started to pound down again - but we both had good expensive � SHOWER proof wind jackets

�. Useless with a capital F.
But we both had overshoes �.. in the room!
I have great winter cycling gloves � kept in the drawer in Chiswick � we don't need them in Summer in southern France!
And fluffy warm jackets � yep you've guessed �

But it was still warm � at 200m!

We got our legs going well and started to get involved in some good moving pelotons �. What that really means when you are in France - stick the Rosbifs on the front and hide behind them!!!! We were aware of this so we slowed down to let them pass - but they slowed as well �. But it was still relatively warm - with lovely countryside (seen through water flowing down the front of the sunny glasses - yeah, I know!).

And to the first proper climb after about 35km .. and it was actually a proper climb to get us from the valley up to the plateau. But we skipped up, even slowing down deliberately to leave the fuel in the tank for later.

Then it happened �..

The trees disappeared - we were suddenly transported to the North York Moors � on a February morning - a bad February morning - a bad, wet, windy February morning - a bad torrentially wet, gale force, wind chill below zero February morning �.. without rain jacket, soaked to the skin and a thin polyester short sleeve top for protection (but a beautifully designed and manufactured top!!!)

We saw a few people pretty early on turning tail and heading back. Our bladders were starting to object (zero wees on the Monday Etape, 4 in the first 60km on this one .. men of a certain age etc) but more crucially we realised that actually were starting to get cold. Not finger and toe cold (tho' that did come in a few more kms) but core body cold. We saw more and more people giving it up. Locals (remember N York Moors folk - eeek!!!) were opening there doors to let people get warm (and probably to put them through a shot-gun marriage to the local pink eyed, high foreheaded, red-headed "beauty" of the family - which finger do you put the wedding ring on if there are 6 fingers?). The best was 4 guys huddled in a telephone box (I don't think their bikes were in there) and also about 20 bikes lying on the grass verge, beside a police minibus, and all the riders jammed into the minibus!

The descent to the first feed station was horrific � road skiddy, brakes not working fantastically well � but worst - hands that did not have a clue if they were squeezing the brakes or not (and the same problem earlier on when having a wee � but I won't go into that!).

At the feed station it was total carnage - the buses were already carting people off to the finish line!
The bikes were lined up to be transported back somehow, some time back to their hyperthermic owners
And one of the bike park attendants was prizing my fingers off my bike - literally .. and now the shakes really kicked in big time.

I have never shivered so much in my life - they told us to go to the village hall .. but we got as far as a caf� where Simon dragged me inside .. others parted out of the deadman walking's way and put me on a chair by a gas fire (I didn't have the energy to aim properly and ended up with the back of the chair impaled up where the sun doesn't normally shine .. really, Mam, if doesn't!!).

The sister / wife kept us plied with coffee. The brother / husband .. kept looking and shaking his head to Simon .. I kept shivering epileptic style (and tried my damndest to stop the "Duelling Banjo" music from Deliverance from rattling round the few grey cells that were left.

It took an hour and a half to warm up to a cryogenic state and no shivers (virtually).

Simon called the group organisers to ask them to pick us up � as well as a Swede who had decided it was a good idea to latch onto a dying old Englishman who was buying coffees. It turns out he had driven 2 days to get to the Etape so we felt better than him �. "Nope, you will have to ride another 11km to our bus" .. I took that news very calmly - in a psychotic sort of way. "The b@st@rds can come to us" I screamed "What do they think we have paid for!!" (which was a bit rich as I hadn't paid anything at all (yet, Paul, yet!!)).

We left Mr & Mrs Frere et Soeur (who were lovely to us .. as well as to my Euros) who provided parting gifts of newspapers to shove into the front of our tops for wind protection. And back into �.. well actually not too bad a day!!! There was still a wind that they will pray for at the Olympics .. but Noah had laid-off the shipbuilders .. and it was back to a "normal" day in the high moors in a village in the Massif Central

We stole some strong bin liners from the feed station .. yellow of course � and they could have been life savers earlier in the day!

We eventually found our bikes .. and rode (nicely) to the bus. The Swede was the devil incarnate! "Would you like to finish the course" � why did he have to say that!?!?!?! But thankfully the police told us that there would not be any support or directions - phew!

And after the kamikaze, kiwi driver showed us what real life-endangerment was all about � we all gathered back at the hotel.

Riyadh had been taken to the buses in an ambulance!

Ali argued at the road block to let him through � he was stopped by dehydration in 36c heat last year � a bit of cold wasn't going to stop him! .. but unfortunately it had to!

We were in a bar to watch Cav win again .. and then the really low moments � guys who were ahead of the closure returning with their medals .. it would have been a shame to see them dismembered after they had been so heroic - but they were sailing close to that (still) gale force wind!!!!

Well - looks like we are going to have to do another year .. or the Italian version � and perhaps 3 times up Ventoux this week to get rid of the pent up pure athleticism

S
xxx

PS If you are still with this� wow!!!!! Chapeau